During the many years I was single, the best advice I got was “You won’t be for everyone.”
This came as a relief and it still surprises me that it was news to me at the time. Well, of course, I’m not for everyone! Duh!
The person who said this to me actually conveyed it in a very loving way and with the intention of helping me to let go of my arduous efforts to impress all potential partners. And it worked!
I began to breathe more deeply and relax into who I am, rather than what I was putting out there.
I don’t know if other people with disabilities think this way, but in my dating years, I believed in the impossible – that potential dating partners could work through their resistance toward my disability.
I look back now and sigh at my ignorance, as well as my arrogance. “You’re not for everyone” holds true for everyone. How on earth did I think I get a Disability Pass on this? Ugh, arrogance!
After all, I go through life, knowing that certain people in general will just have difficulty accepting my disability…and people who would have a more intimate relationship with me, would not?! Ugh, arrogance!
When I received this gentle slap in the face of “You’re not for everyone,” it was actually welcomed. Ahh, this meant I could focus on those who were for me and let go of my false need for the others.
Relaxing into this knowledge helped to foster my Power to Attract, meaning I put my focus more on what I had to offer to the dating/relationship scene, than trying to draw someone to me.
By focusing on our gifts and abilities,
you draw the right people to you.
On some level when you live with a disability, people will always look at what you don’t “have.” For better or worse, it’s human nature. Our job as people with disabilities, I believe, is to be open to all the gifts and lessons we bring to the many who are open to us.
If you’re out there dating, know you’re not for everyone. It really helps clear the way for those who are drawn to you.
The comment area has been pretty lonely lately. Take a risk, begin a discussion, your choice – tell about a dating or non-dating experience in which you clearly knew when you weren’t for everyone and that was okay. See my story below in the comments.
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