I would love to hear YOUR answer on this, and particularly if you’re in the male gender. Share your thoughts below.
This question was sparked by a comment on Facebook about asking for help with certain tasks. If you live with a disability, you know these tasks can be quite random. It can be having a door held open because there’s no automatic opener, or having someone carry a hot drink for you, or trying to get a bottled water open (is it me or are they making those harder?).
When you live with disability, finding your own personal comfort level when asking for help is its own journey. In my younger days, I would resist asking for help much more than I do now. I didn’t want to appear needy or vulnerable.
One of the gifts of getting older is you care less and less about how you appear. Trust me, if you’re under 40, it’s something to look forward to! Getting older helps you realize time is of the essence and if you’re like me, you want to spend your precious time doing what you enjoy, not opening that darn water bottle, only to have it spill all over you.
Now, for a confession. . .
Subconsciously, I think I have always believed that because I’m a woman, it’s culturally “more acceptable” for me to ask for help.
Oh, I’m embarrassed to admit that. How chauvinistic of me – I know!
Reading the Facebook comment from a man with cerebral palsy, talking so comfortably about asking for help, brought this home to me. While I have wondered if I get more of a pass in the asking for help department being a woman, I think nothing of it when a man with a disability asks for help. I see a man say with quadriplegia needing to pick up something and think, Yes, of course, that might be difficult. Let’s facilitate the process.
Asking for help should not be gender specific. Asking for help is the flip side of vulnerability:
In our vulnerability, we find our strength.-Albert Einstein
But. . .
I really want to know YOUR thoughts on this. Is asking for help different for men versus women?? I want to hear from both “parties” so to speak. What’s hard? What’s easy? How does asking for help make you feel? Comment below or on Facebook.
One of the reasons, I am so curious about this is how the whole “asking for help” issue is a factor in dating and relationships when you lived with disability.
More on this next week.