And read to the end for a special offer. 🙂

What do you want? Fill in the blank – a raise at work, to see more often or make friends, that magical 25th hour of the day…

If you’re like me, the list can go on and on.

Now, what do you REALLY want?

Meaning what’s the more authentic desire behind the want. For the above examples, it could be to struggle less with paying bills, more connection with people, to feel more peaceful and less stressed.

Asking you what you REALLY want is a counseling technique to increase clarity and any perceived problem. It gets at the emotional driver behind a stressor. After all, whenever we “want” something, in some way, that want represents a lack in your life. Hence, a stressor even on an unconscious level.

Of course, this can be applied to anything in life, but you know what’s coming, don’t you? Yes, this very much relates to dating, relationship, and disability.

Yeah, yeah, yeah…you’re saying I could find some way to connect pottery to dating and relationships. That will be next week…just kidding!

You seemed to really liked last week’s post; the open rates were higher than usual. I’m wondering if it was in part due to talking about the WHY behind families entering the unchartered territory of supporting their kids (meaning adults because you’re always Mom’s kid even when you’re 92) with dating and having healthy relationships.

The WHY is this – as a family member in particular, the REAL reason why you want successful dating and healthy relationships for your loved one:

  • To love and be loved
  • Companionship
  • A FULL life
  • To know they are not alone

If you’re someone living with a disability, searching for success in dating, wanting love and acceptance, you know that these four desires are what you REALLY want for yourself.

At the risk of being Captain Obvious, let me break down these REAL wants, perhaps in a bit of a raw way that could touch the emotion within you.

  • To love and be loved – call me sappy, but you know it’s the ULTIMATE TRUTH BOMB – love is what gives us and our lives meaning, whether it’s from family, friends, or lovers.
  • Companionship – you can be as introverted and antisocial as you want, but in the end, we all need to feel CONNECTED to someone.
  • A FULL life – the disability movement has advocated for decades that the disabled have a full life; that should include LOVE, SEX, INTIMACY, and yes, even breakups and makeups.
  • To know they are not alone – this one is more specific to families and the raw part comes in here – when you die you want to know your kids are not alone.

To achieve SUCCESS in dating and relationships, whether you’re a person with a disability or supporting someone with a disability, you have to begin with what I call the REAL GOODS – the true emotion and need behind the want.

Your real goods are your true north in directing you through the scary and frustrating waters to the person who sees you, gets you, supports you, and wants to be with you.

In this beautiful month of May, Radiant Abilities will be running some promotions. Subscribers and blog readers get first dibs, a week before the public.

From May 6 -10, Firewalk: Embracing Different Abilities will be on sale to the public for just $9.95 with free shipping. Use code freeship when you click here. Grab your copy (maybe for Mother’s Day) before May 6 and get the Firewalk Take Action Guide with it to help you make changes in living more the life you want.


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