The Biggest Dating Fears When You Have a Disability

ableism the biggest dating fears Mar 24, 2021
Young man looking worried. Message on image: When you're old and gray, do you want to have lived a life driven by fears or dreams?

In this survey that anyone with a disability can take, people share their biggest dating fears. Many of these concerns keep people with disabilities feeling too intimidated to date and pursue relationships.

Here are some of the things they say:

  • I fear I’ll be rejected.
  • I don’t have enough confidence.
  • I’m concerned about accepting my disability.
  • I don’t believe I’m attractive enough.
  • Could I be a burden to another.

Dating Worries: Understandable and Fixable

To be concerned about acceptance, cruel judgments, and not feeling confident enough is so understandable due to all the sexual ableism that continues to prevail in our society.

But when you’re old and gray, do you want to have lived a life driven by fears or dreams?

That was the question facing me years ago and actually keeping me awake many nights. At work, I would hear from clients how much they longed for love in their life, but believed their disability posed too many obstacles to their desires and dreams. At night, I would come home to an empty house that silently screamed the same thing.

Fear and judgments would stop stealing my deepest desires, I decided. Through a lot of work, tears, and disappointment, this moment finally evolved (note that I said evolved and not happened).

Dating Fears Can Be Fixed

Embodying and taking ownership for who I am, disability and all, felt like such a key piece to successful dating and relationships.

I focus on dating. There are many, many great resources out there for sexuality and disability. I find that there are less resources out there that really teach and support people with disabilities on the interpersonal skills involved in showing people how to be confident in a body that’s different and create healthy relationships.

For people with disabilities to date successfully, which includes feeling empowered to date, the following skills are incredibly helpful:

  • Being able to rise above sexual ableism
  • Increasing and nurturing self-esteem and confidence, particularly for dating and relationships
  • Creating healthy boundaries and skills specific to intimate relationships
  • Knowing the right partner and relationship for you

Free Download: Dating Profile Guide

If you’re feeling ready to break through those dating fears, but need more guidance on how how to write a dating profile and disclose your disability in a positive way, download this dating profile guide.

Transform Your Dating Journey - Get the Results You Want

Join our Dating Made Easier Membership, an online support and coaching program that helps you gain key skills to work through the barriers to finding dating and relationship success.

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