188 - Becoming the Partner You Want to Attract

Download the resource guide for this podcast episode, My Relationship Vision.

You cannot expect qualities from others that you haven't developed within yourself, including comfort with your disability. Personal growth and disability acceptance create an authentic foundation that naturally attracts compatible partners. Understanding your values, embracing disability as part of your identity, and developing emotional intelligence around your unique needs brings a more complete self to relationships. This preparation isn't about hiding limitations but building self-awareness for genuine connection rather than seeking validation.

Embodying Openness Attracts Vulnerability

The openness you desire from partners must first be practiced in your own journey. Develop comfort discussing access needs, limitations, and daily disability experiences to create spaces where others feel safe sharing their authentic selves. Challenge yourself to be matter-of-fact about accommodations, explore internalized ableism, and allow others to witness both challenges and adaptive strengths. Practice disability transparency with trusted people to build emotional muscles for future relationship conversations.

Empathy Begins With Self-Compassion

Your ability to understand partners correlates with how compassionately you treat yourself, including your disabled body or mind. Harsh self-judgment extends to others. Practice self-compassion—recognizing your worth isn't diminished by needing accommodations—to expand your capacity for holding space for a partner's imperfections.

Understanding Through Curiosity

Develop curiosity about yourself and your disability to approach relationships with wonder rather than defensiveness. Regularly explore how disability shapes your worldview and investigate accessibility needs without shame. This curiosity helps distinguish between ableism and misunderstandings that require patient education.

Listening to Your Inner World

Becoming an attentive partner requires first listening to your disabled body or mind. Regularly check energy levels, pain signals, and emotional responses to disability challenges. Notice when ableist messaging makes you doubt your experience, and return to self-trust. This internal alignment becomes invaluable when helping partners understand your reality.

Problem-Solving Through Disability Challenges

Each accessibility challenge navigated independently becomes practice for collaborative problem-solving in relationships. Approach difficulties with creativity, resilience, and flexibility. Notice your default responses to obstacles and develop comfort with interdependence in preparation for partnership.

Integration Through Consistent Practice

The partner you hope to meet deserves someone who brings their whole self—including disability—confidently into the relationship. Commit to disability acceptance before meeting them to create alignment between your authentic self and what you present. This attracts partnerships built on understanding rather than caretaking or pity.

Our Dating Resources

Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation

Artwork photo by Elevate