209 - Rewriting Your Story: Foundation Work Before You Start Dating

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If you identify as being in Stage 1 of the Dating Success Journey, download this resource.

Stage 1: Building Your Dating Foundation

Stage 1 focuses on developing internal confidence before entering the dating world. It's about creating a healthy relationship with yourself first, not being "behind" or "unready."

The Five Pillars of Success

Pillar 1: Daily Self-Reflection Practice three daily questions: What do I value? What are my authentic interests? What do I want in a partnership? Commit to 5 minutes of morning journaling for two weeks.

Pillar 2: Rewriting Internal Narratives Replace generic affirmations with targeted truth-telling. Instead of "I am lovable," try "My worth isn't determined by my symptom days" or "My disability experience taught me valuable relationship skills."

Pillar 3: Disability-Positive Community Create a "Possibility Feed" by following accounts of people with disabilities thriving in relationships. This provides evidence that shifts thinking from "Who would want me?" to "What kind of person would match me?"

Pillar 4: Professional Support Consider therapy if dealing with deep shame, trauma, limiting family messages, or difficulty distinguishing between realistic needs and unnecessary self-limitation.

Pillar 5: Comprehensive Strengths Inventory Create a "Whole Person Asset List" including professional skills, personal qualities, and strengths gained from disability experience.

The Fundamental Shift

Stage 1 work transforms the core question from "Will someone accept me despite my disability?" to "Are we compatible?" This moves you from defensive validation-seeking to confident compatibility assessment.

Ready for Stage 2?

Complete Stage 1 when you can discuss your disability without shame, have clear relationship values, know your strengths, and feel excited about dating from curiosity rather than desperation.

Timeline varies - sometimes months, others may need longer. The goal is building an unshakeable foundation for authentic, confident dating.